I’ve been known to delete people from facebook who tag me in those ridiculous "chain things" so when this "sunshine award" started, I will admit to some major eye rolls at the idea. However, I’ve had  fun learning more about each person as they posted their "11 things". I took some time to visit a familiar tool and try a newer one with doing these Q&As. I’ve mentioned each person that I could remember in the Haiku Deck Here are my 11 Visual Random Facts Created with Haiku Deck, the free presentation app for iPad For @Sarahdateechur I used Tapestry’s txt tool….LOVE this! (My first time using Tapestry) To Respond to Michelle Baldwin, I created a haiku deck powered movenote I’m working on the others in multiple formats. When I do tag, I’m adding a new rule…use some new tool to do so

For the past few days, I’ve taken a break from chats, blogs and constant connectivity to soak in the greatness of being a mother, daughter, aunt, sister and friend. While I am all of those things all of the time, there’s something inherently fulfilling about primarily basking in the glow of their collective auras. The balance of career and family is a necessary yet tough road to travel. To my family, my career has always been my priority. My actions definitely didn’t help those thoughts. At the same token, in my mind…the sacrifice was necessary. My education and career meant missing sporting events, cheer competitions, late night practices, choir concerts, speaking contest, homework help and even the "prep work" before senior prom. Lesson 1: If your own family feels secondary to your career goals…you’re doing it wrong.  My prioritizing has definitely improved…for sure! This semester was filled with many highs and lows with the lowest culminating just a few days ago. My daughter, a high school honor graduate, did not perform at the level of which she is capable during semester 1 of college. She will begin her spring semester on academic probation. I’ve gone back and forth trying to understand what she was thinking…beyond the typical "first time away from home" syndrome. Amidst angry tears, she said that college was a lot harder than she expected. She didn’t know how to study and as much as she studied, it seemed to never be enough. Each test score seemed to dip lower and lower. In one course, her assignment was literally to create a blog and write 5 postings which had to be written on varying days. She missed that assignment and after that, it was almost impossible to come back. Prioritizing?? That idea did not exist for her. Most assignments were started and completed at the very last minute. After hours of heated discussion, it became apparent that her approach to college was no different than her approach to HS. Even in her AP course, there was no additional prep or push required. She did the work as she entered the room and earned the grade as the handout was graded. I should’ve known what we were up against when on the first week of school she sat on a curb in tears because she couldn’t find the VA office to handle her school funding…a trip that she most certainly NEEDED to make. For the record, I found the office by googling its whereabouts on my phone from my office desk 3 hours away. She couldn’t even GOOGLE. (long sigh) One can talk about all of the wonders that the right technology could have provided her. However, without the skills to think critically, communicate (with professors and peers), problem solve and prioritize…she had zero chance. However, as Diana Laufenberg reminded me (I think of Diana in moments like this….so yes, she hypothetically reminded me)…  "Failure is instructional" (lesson 2)  As my kid blindly prepared for college, she didn’t consider that she would actually have to do "real" work nor did she realize the depth of her requirements. There has been talk of attending campus tutorials, scheduling "study time", prioritizing "common sense" ideas like attending ALL courses and seeking additional help when needed…early. She has even asked for technology support…because surely there has got to be an easier way to manage all of those due dates than no plan at all! She owned that her failure was in not committing. Even without the preparation, she could have done it and didn’t. Her lesson was that clearly she needed to work a lot harder. My lesson was that I needed to be more attentive and proactive. Lesson 3: When it matters, you do what’s needed to make it work. Lessons learned…    

A few years ago, I interviewed for my first job out of the classroom as a math specialist in my hometown. As qualified as I was, I didn’t get the job. That moment was one that I would consider a low point in my career because it seemed as if the job itself was crafted with me in mind…so much so that I had already mentally closed the door to my classroom with no plans to return. I was devastated for many reasons and it was difficult at first to move beyond this moment. I was stuck staring at a closed door, however to me…it was the wrong door. Eventually, I stopped sulking and started looking at my life from both sides. I loved teaching and I knew that part of my not getting that job was because of the classroom teacher that I was. At the same token, I felt myself moving in a direction of teacher support way more than my school wanted to allow. That closed door to the opportunity that I didn’t get, told me that I needed to continue to work towards getting there. Whatever it took, including moving, I was more than willing to do. Giving up was not an option…not by a long shot. A month later, I was offered a math strategist/department chair job in another school district. Without hesitation, I accepted the move and of course the rest is history. I’m sharing this story because of its connection to meeting closed doors and finding the open doors and windows that we often ignore. Looking back, I realize that had I NOT met that closed door, I would not have made the career moves that I did beyond that point. In other words, without that NO, I would not have encountered the plethora of Yeses. Perspective is amazing, isn’t it? Moving Beyond Closed Doors When you live long enough, you learn that not everything in life is a guarantee. This is one example of a closed door but I’ve definitely faced many more. You deal, decide what YOU want and move on. The door doesn’t determine your fate. YOU do. Do you meet the roadblocks and stand? No…you find another way. That’s what the "open doors" and "windows" are about. My mother used to say that God doesn’t close one door without leaving an open one in its place. I believe that wholeheartedly. When faced with missed opportunities, I am immediately inclined  to evaluate the situation and work towards the next goal because there will always be one. In my high school classroom, this is a lesson that I had to teach my students on multiple occasions. While their "doors" were different from mine, the reaction is still the same. You don’t focus on the non-success or failure…you focus on the journey to the next destination. I believe we call this grit.

A few years ago, one of my students started reading The Pact, the story about the three black doctors who made a commitment to change their lives by pushing each other towards their dream of becoming doctors. I connected with this story because it reminded me of my journey through college with my my friends Sonya and Sonja. We were the only three black students in our college program preparing to teach math. Prior to college, we didn’t know each other but our roads could not have crossed at a better time. We had the best of math professors in Dr. Vanesa Huse, who understood what we would encounter once we entered the classroom. She made sure that we knew, talked to and worked with Dr. Evelyn Granville, the 2nd black woman to hold a doctoral degree in math. Dr. Huse also made sure that we were equipped with not only the ability to develop innovative, rich instructional content but also the freedom to inject our own cultural experiences into our lessons. There were countless hours spent studying together and comparing our pre-service experiences.  We also held each other to such a high standard that no slack was given when one or all fell behind. Before taking over the college math tutor job, I watched Sonja do it with a grace that to this day leaves me speechless. She would have 6 different courses going on at once and would not miss a beat or a student. She tutored through questioning and I adored watching her work. Sonya had a fire about her that would make grown students shiver. She was not one to be messed with…not in a negative way…more in a "don’t you dare think that you will perform less than you are capable of" kind of way. I was more of the "I’m going to find 5 million ways to do this" kind of student. I was the inquisitive nerd who would get so excited about our work that they would have to muzzle me to make me shut up. I was also the "tech" person of the group…typical. We each had our strengths and each of us took a piece of the other into our own classrooms which I’m sure more than counted for our collective weaknesses. We called each other and collaborated over the years as often as we could. Even after our separation, we were better together. I’ve seen one or the other at times over the years but we haven’t been all together since graduation. Today, that changes as we will meet for lunch as we discuss possible projects to support others through their college/pre-service experiences. Before any of that takes place, our coming together again is another moment to reflect over where we’ve been, what we have done and what we plan to do as a result of our intertwining lives. I would not be the teacher that I am had it not been for these two ladies. This is a feeling that we all hold true. Stay tuned…

When I posted on twitter that my goal for 2014 was to be more fierce, I received many questions wanting an expansion of this idea. When we typically think of fierce, we think of the predatory version of the word. In a sense, that’s true but let’s focus on the underlying emotion behind fierceness for a moment. fierce fi(ə)rs/ (of a feeling, emotion, or action) showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity synonyms: aggressive, intense, strong, relentless, ass-kicking, powerful, passionate, impassioned I choose to define fierce by four terms…Purposeful, Fearless, Passionate and Confident  Owning Your Fierceness Being more fierce is not about fitting yourself into a mold of each world singularly…it’s about encompassing all that you are at once. It’s about owning who you are and your contribution to yourself and the success of others. It’s about defining your purpose and working towards that purpose with an intensity so passion filled that there is no way that failure is even within reach. In other words… Fierceness in the Classroom If you want to be more fierce, start it where it counts most…in your classroom. I’ve seen too many teachers succumbing to the "requirements" of school and not enough standing their ground and doing what they knew was best for their students. For example, last year there was a "norm" in my school that every teacher had to teach the exact same lesson to the script. It didn’t matter who the students were, every instructional piece had to be identical. They even had PLC where these lessons were planned out. What that meant was that the classes with instructional support received the exact same lesson as the classes with language support which were the same as the classes that needed "no additional support". Umm….NO! True learning comes through experience and not every child has the same one. Individualization is so important and if you do nothing else this year…fight for that. It doesn’t matter if your classroom is full of 5 year olds or 35 year olds, the same ideology applies… Stand up, be firm and demand that your classroom is a place where true magic happens. Then, take it out of your classroom and stand for the voice of the teacher. You have the power to do that but it means not allowing yourself to be walked over and stepped on in the process. On A Personal Note Being fierce for me is about owning who I am and my own success. You can be a classroom teacher, instructional support person or even an administrator and have your own goals. If you don’t…you should. One of the steps that I’ve made is to be fierce about taking care of my physical and emotional self just as much as my academic self. Taking a lesson from my friend Greg Garner (@classroom_tech) I schedule "me time" in my day to exercise, reflect and sometimes read. The funny part of this advice is that it came from a place of being more productive, but I heard him from a deeper perspective and in that moment I realized that I was selling myself short at not fully taking care of ME. As you move on with creating your resolutions and preparing to promise to follow them "this time"…consider how small everyday thoughts can influence you deep within. Be Fierce today, tomorrow, next week and this time next year. As you reflect on your day, think about the actions that you took to be more fierce than the previous. My goal is simple…Be More Fierce Today than Yesterday

Lately I’ve been struggling with my decision to move out of the classroom. I taught HS math and as many math lessons that I taught, I also taught a great deal about life. My kids needed it. I taught in a school sitting in the middle of a largely "czech" town with a student population that resembled anything but that, except for AP classes. Three years ago, I met a young boy with a glimmer in his eyes that was simply contagious. He was new to our town, kind, gentle and full of life as his laughter and excitement melted your soul. I secretly prayed that he would not lose that spark…that he would somehow avoid the same fateful blow that others before him suffered. We were losing our boys to our streets…a problem that to this day goes ignored. Towards the middle of the year, I started to notice changes in this student that didn’t sit well with me. He started hanging with kids who were members of one of our local gangs. He became aggressive and spent time in the office because of his misbehavior in other classes. I reached out to his mother and we had a meetings…several of them. I learned many things about him in those meetings with one point that stuck out big time. In his old school, he was a part of an engineering and robotics club. He had an interest and sadly, we had nothing like that at our school. He was bored out of his mind and the glimmer of the streets was just far too appealing. He is now 17 years old and a high school drop out. We failed him… We expect kids to walk into school and immediately conform with rules that are aimed to train them for a life with no choice. In some cases, kids required to sit all day in their nice desks in rows, were treated as if their "canned education" was  a privilege for the privileged and not for those who could not conform. Yes, we had a program for kids who needed a flexible schedule to graduate but with the wait list so unmanageably long(largely due to high rates of teen pregnancy)…kids like this student didn’t stand a chance. Prevention or Pro-Action I need to repeat again that we had no programs, other than athletic and UIL academic. We didn’t have a solid computer science program. We definitely didn’t have robotics. We did have home economics, wood shop, metal shop, and auto mechanics. We had an art program but not a real media program. Last year, I was in a high school that had an outreach program for young men which was amazing. We didn’t have that either. Would any of those things have helped this kid? Would any of these actions have made a difference? I have to believe that they would have as clearly inaction does nothing. School should be about challenging kids to imagine what is possible. Beyond standards, schools should be houses of innovation that encourage collaboration, emotional growth and maturity and embed a spirit of a love of learning. We didn’t do that either. We also have to embed a love of self in our kids. They have to learn that life isn’t always about getting exactly what you want but about making the choice to do what is necessary to make your goals come to life. I tweeted this earlier… Opening the doors of the school does nothing if you do nothing to make every kid that walks through those doors experience what is possible. I imagine that our conversation would have been vastly different if this student’s educational experience would have even been remotely close.  

The downside to being naturally reflective is that sometimes you have to take a step back and not beat yourself up too bad for mistakes and failures. I found myself staring at the crossroads of my decisions in the last few days and being the reflective person that I am, I wanted to address my choices head on. I went through the cycle of "what did I do" and "how could I have approached this situation better"…which is typical. Maybe I needed to take a message back. Maybe I needed to not be so free with my thoughts. Then, I realized that my greatest mistake was in trying to overanalyze…a trait that has extended since my GT years. When you live long enough and you go through the challenges that life presents, you’re bound to make errors along the way. It’s human nature to do so. It’s important that as we grow, we understand that a part of that growth is facing ourselves for who we are and dealing without prejudice. I’m not perfect by any means. I am always a work in progress. I own this with fierceness. What I will no longer do is worry so hard about trying to "undo" or "fix" the hiccups. When they happen, I will deal and move on. If you have the right people in your life that get this side of you…they move on right along with you. Those people are the ones that I consider my friends…my inner circle. While my big life change is to be more fierce, my greatest change is to deal with life’s "snowball fights" and allow myself to be more human. Like leaving the typos in hurried tweets, there will be no more stress about that which I cannot control. I will be reflective, non-punishing and patient. #lifelessons In case you missed it, I am not perfect. No one is.

We are a society of instant. We set goals but in actuality we want those goals to occur much swifter than we allow. In education, there’s a mad dash for raising scores. We pull kids from music and PE to throw facts and figures into their heads hoping that it sticks at least until the test. As much as we know about project based or task driven learning, we’d rather "flip it" or direct teach in lieu of allowing kids to grow from their own experiences. Heck even on social media, we tell teachers to sign up for twitter because it’s "life-changing". They sign up and then discover that those networks do not build themselves overnight. Over time, being connected is a game changer… but it’s not instant. Every year around this time people create resolutions. Heck, in the past so have I. Most of them fail because we make them about the "intended outcome" and when that outcome doesn’t happen as fast as we would like, that resolution becomes yet another statistic. What I’ve learned in the last year is that the journey to the destination is much more poignant than the destination itself. Compare it to a couple just beginning their journey of building a relationship. No one in their right mind jumps directly to the point of marriage. You have to have a relationship first…a friendship. Relationships take time. People forget that. On a personal note, I know that I need to live a healthier lifestyle but making it about the pounds lost or the caloric intake, for me, was a recipe for failure. Making my journey about rebuilding myself from within has been a thoroughly poetic experience. I want to enjoy nature around me. I may even learn a bit of science along the way. I want to understand the pain in my body as I move muscles that have been stagnant. I want to enjoy the sound of the music playing in my ears and the peace that I feel within as my physical self is engaged. I want to experience the entire journey because through the journey, as we recognize the bumps, bruises, highs and lows…we grow even more. We have to be more cognizant of the paths towards our goals and less settled on the goals themselves. That is what respecting the journey is inherently about. Success for me is if I engaged myself at a much deeper level than before. It’s not about a specific success or failure, it really is about sustainable growth. After all, what’s worth attaining is worth the time, patience and effort in receiving it. Time + Patience + Effort = Journey Respect it.  

Taking a stroll into many conversations around the edu twitter chat world, one may walk away wondering if they are doing an effective job compared to those that they read. It seems that no one is ever struggling. No one fails. Schools are perfect and teaching, while hard, is still perfect. Every student and teacher has "choice"…whatever that is. That’s the message that is being communicated…"We are all perfect." I think that the problem with the chat is that when it comes to having reality-based conversations, we have yet to figure out how to keep it real. We’re not sure yet how to communicate about our true selves without losing ourselves and our jobs in the process and that makes for a pretty "vanilla" conversation. What it boils down to is that when we have chats beyond the typical "tech chats", we chat around topics…barely scratching the surface of our needs. We answer chat questions as if they were test questions. Heaven forbid that we offend someone. That could be "twitter deathly", right? (Believe me, I’ve been called "Debbie Downer" on many occasions.) We want to make sure to post the "right" answers because truthfully, when the "truth" is vastly different from what we want…we can’t handle it. If our intent in a conversation is to challenge ourselves and grow, how can that possibly happen if we aren’t willing to admit our struggles? You can’t grow without facing the truth of your own actions.    Yes, we must be careful to not throw our schools, co-workers, parents or students under the bus. Doing so would be career suicide. However, what is the harm in saying these words… "I struggle"  Followed by… "I struggle with ______________." I won’t pretend that I have all of the answers because I don’t. However, I do have faith in our collective intent and based on the responses that filled my "mentions" last night, I believe that others are ready to truthfully deal with the "chat truth" as well. As a moderator, I have an idea of where we can start and it begins with holding ourselves accountable for crafting better questions…no different than we expect in a classroom. Don’t craft questions that can be answered with a simple, yes or no. Instead, craft questions that challenge the person on the other end to think deeper and reflect. In essence, your questions should in fact lead to more questions. As a chat participant, please stop feeling the need to answer with the perfect response. If you have more questions, ask them! It’s okay and you need to know that not every response fits in a perfect A1, A2, A3 format.  Sometimes there aren’t straight answers but more questions. For me, chatting isn’t about posting the most amazing "re-tweetable" response but about leaving the conversation with deeper understanding of a topic, myself or my actions. I cannot speak for my school or district as a whole and I shouldn’t. I can only speak about my role and my own growth. I can talk freely about my successes and struggles without fear of the opinions of others because at the end of the day, the reflection on the other side of the mirror is my own. It’s about time that we face our truths and handle it.

Today, I found myself pondering over my approach to professional development. As our department prepared to lead sessions, we were asked to consider what we could do with our sessions to make them more engaging, learner centered and aligned with the ISTE standards. In other words, we needed to look at our instructional plan for teachers from a similar lens that teachers would look for students…which makes perfect sense. I’ve always considered myself a pretty "non-standard" trainer, making sure to incorporate active learning experiences into my sessions. However, today I had to take a hard look at my own practice and decide if my "active" was in fact truly "active". In other words, is it enough that teachers create and develop during PD or should they be doing more? According to the ISTE Standards for coaching, one of the goals of the technology professional developer should be to… Coach teachers in and model design and implementation of technology-enhanced learning experiences using differentiation, including adjusting content, process, product, and learning environment based upon student readiness levels, learning styles, interests, and personal goals We must model effective use of technology while also modeling how we make adjustments to meet the needs of learners through tech enhanced experiences and differentiation. The more that we model best practices, the easier that it becomes for teachers to garner a better understanding of how technology can work to enhance learning in their classrooms. What does this mean? For starters, the idea of "choice" is often one that is thrown around conversations as if it is simple to understand. Choice goes well beyond a question of, "should I do the work" or "shouldn’t I". Choice speaks greatly to the idea of "how". For example, instead of teaching an "active" session in which I lead and guide the entire class from beginning to end, I should be constructing learner driven units where the entry and exit of learning is guided by the learner. Think of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books that you may have read in school and it all makes sense. We have to take into account what teachers already know. It’s a waste of their time sitting through "intro" that they do not need when they could be evaluating their knowledge levels, considering the application in their classrooms and making decisions about what they want and need to get out of a session. I like to refer back to the ISTE Standards for Coaching on this one… Coach teachers in and model design and implementation of technology-enhanced learning experiences emphasizing creativity, higher-order thinking skills and processes, and mental habits of mind, (e.g., critical thinking, meta-cognition, and self-regulation) Now, before going back to our standard…"teachers do not know what they do not know", let’s consider how we can make this happen. Start the session with your minimal expectations. If learning a platform, briefly share the greatness of what it can help learners do and then have teachers develop their own criteria for understanding. Tasks cards are awesome and structuring the self-evaluation part in the form of tasks are a great gauge of learning for teachers. In other words, it’s not just a matter of can I use it, but can I apply it. (critical) Determine a series of "starts" based on teacher application of #3…but make these a teacher choice as well. Incorporate collaboration with training and/or global peers. Design so that teachers leave with a "ready to implement" created model of their own. Your role is that of a facilitator. You are the support. Don’t coddle…guide. As with any development, all of the above largely depends on the goals of the session and that of the teachers. The bottom line is that if we want to see transformation in the classroom, we must be ready to transform within our own role as staff developers. We can’t expect different if we aren’t willing to model it.  

In the last week, I’ve watched my nephew switch between molding clay figures, designing minecraft worlds and developing a new puppet. Creativity, or "making",  is a part of who he is. He just loves "doing" and we are fortunate enough to experience the worlds that he creates. I’ve watched him as he uses his ipad to search for ideas, save parts of each idea and develop his own piece. Even when the idea seems "unimaginable", it’s never out of his reach. He finds a way. Earlier this week, Braeden decided that he was going to make a "pirate goblin". With clay, styrofoam, paint and a little research, the "pirate goblin" became a reality. You can view the process in the Haiku Deck Below. You can also click here  for the pdf version with his notes. Created with Haiku Deck, the free presentation app for iPad Engineering and Clay Pieces Through research, Braeden has seen that not all clay figures are stationary. He has created a technique to make his objects movable. Using toothpicks and wiring, the heads move. The arms move and sometimes the legs are bendable as well. He created a vine video to illustrate. The kid is learning design and engineering and has no idea. Engineering and Puppet Parts Friday, Braeden had a day off from school and in lieu of doing nothing all day, he decided to learn. While researching "puppet mechanics", he came across a video which led to another video which led to yet another video teaching him how to make movable eyelids on his puppet. So, using two ping pong balls and parts from a coat hanger, he created a mechanism that will allow him to attach fabric pieces to form eyelids that open and close for his puppet. By the way, the new puppet character, a fuzzy monster, will be done soon and will join the likes of Lenny the Lizard in front of the camera soon.   Fostering Creativity: What I Learned A while back ago, Braeden talked about his principal’s opinion that kids could not learn through art. I’ve watched this child transition from the "physical and mental disruption" that school is to being a disruptor of such an antiquated idea through his passion for creating. He didn’t need to be in a specific "engineering or design" course to become an engineer but those are the skills that he is developing. Many of my Facebook friends, mostly classmates, that have seen Braeden’s journey often ask me how to help their kids enjoy learning like Braeden does. I have to say that it’s not that Braeden enjoys all "learning". He enjoys the learning that he owns. He enjoys the learning that stems from his own curiosities. He enjoys the learning that is authentic to him. I won’t say that Braeden does not learn in school. He most certainly does and it shows in what he comes home to create. He doesn’t enjoy it though. He complies. However, when the "required work" is done, the curiosity begins. The ipad comes out and we get to witness excitement for learning through the eyes of a 9 year old. The world is his genius hour. We’re just participants.

Typically, I download apps and they live within my ipad in a bit of an "app graveyard" until I find a purpose. I will say that I was intrigued by StoreHouse from the start. Storehouse enables users to share media files from their camera roll, instagram, dropbox and flickr into a web page where they can then add text to form digital stories. Published pages can then be shared via twitter, facebook or by email. Technically, the interface itself is friendly enough for a younger crowd but the 12+ rating satisfies its terms of service. I’ve shown it to a few high school students and they actually loved the sleekness of the app itself. You can view my created Storehouse HERE or scroll below! How it Works: Users are prompted to select images or videos from their ipad camera roll. In addition, users can import from their dropbox, flickr or instagram accounts. Once the media is imported, users can resize to adjust the layout, change the header and add text to highlight specific parts. The completed project is a web page that can then be shared via a link to twitter, facebook and email. At this point, users are only searchable and followable through the app. However, once in app users can follow other users and find other stories which explains the 12+ rating. What I Like About StoreHouse 1. Minimal design tools keep the focus on the content although I will admit that a few more text options would be nice. 2. The "modern" feel and interactive features make it a fun piece for students to use to create 3. Publishing to share to a global audience via twitter is simple as a touch and so is sharing via email which satisfies the "turn it in" problem for schools that block access to social media. What I would like to see… 1. Google drive integration! Come on, really??? Why would you NOT include that from the jump? 2. I would like to be able to designate "sound off/on" while in design mode. I like the idea of mixing movable media but the sound can be annoying. 3. An iframe embed wouldn’t hurt or even publishing to pinterest. (I embedded my own iframe but the average user may not know how to do this!) 4. Search the database via hashtags of flickr and retain licensing. EDU Uses 1. Create and publish a digital portfolio incorporating all of those amazing articles saved to the camera roll as well as across social platforms! (Thanks to Tina Zita for the reminder!) 2. Explain ideas through digitally created items as well as text 3. Create a "game day" page and share the results of the big game! 4. Create a media board for prom. (My niece LOVES this for this purpose alone!) 5. Create a unit overview showcasing socially shared media along with key thoughts using the text feature 6. Tell any story Below is a video that I created with a brief overview

One of the best pieces of advice that I have ever been given as a classroom teacher was to leave the pen/pencil on my desk when helping students. I used to be "that" teacher…the one who would work the problem out for kids, while oddly thinking that somehow I was helping them. I was not helping them at all. As a matter of fact, I’ll even admit to engaging in such practice because it helped me to get to the next kid faster. When we do the work that our students should be doing, we are benefitting no one but ourselves. I would even go on to categorize this terrible practice as an "adult decision" in lieu of a "student decision". Any time that we engage in practices that are self-serving, we have to take a hard look at the realities of who we should be serving instead. Leaving the pencil out of the equation opened doors for me to push my students to dig deeper in the learning and find their own way. I was no longer in control and they needed that desperately. When students gain control and responsibility of interpreting information, they are well on their way to owning their learning, which should be the ultimate goal in every classroom. The Trainer Hat As a teacher trainer, I am often thinking about ways to improve and methods to use to help teachers take ownership of their own instructional design. How many times have we defined tasks for them? How many times have we provided the means to the end…the application? How many times have we walked them through each step because "that’s how they learn best"? Standing at the front of a room to walk teachers through every single step is a matter of control. It’s not what is best for teachers. It’s what is more convenient for the trainer. I would not do this in my classroom. Why would I do this in a classroom where I should be modeling best practices? For me, the right way to conduct training is no different than the best way to work with students. We have to ask more questions, tell less information and place the questions of mastery on the teachers. In other words, plan to be less structured and more flexible. That Moment When You Remember What Teaching is About This particular reflection did not pop into my head from thin air. It was born, like many of my thoughts, from playing with my nephew. He worked all weekend creating his new puppet and I watched as he planned, changed his plans, sewed, un-sewed and finally settled on his finished product. Every mistake that he made led to a new discovery. I watched and said nothing…choosing to observe and learn instead. I found myself wondering what would happen if someone interjected and told him what to do at each step. Would he work with the same level of intensity or care? How would it benefit him if I took the needle and thread from him to complete the sewing? What if I corrected his patterns for size? Would he remember to think about "child size puppets" and "adult size" puppets"? I watched and smiled because in this moment I was taken aback to what learning is about. The lesson is this… I leave the pencil on my desk because I want my students to wonder, question and think of their own way. I want students to make their mistakes and work themselves from them. The moment that we relinquish control is the moment that students can begin being autonomous learners. This also applies to adults.

Today, we all go back to our schools and into our respective buildings and classrooms. The service and celebration of Dr. King is well in our rear view mirrors.  The parades are done. The costumes are put away and the paths to community service are already showing signs of diminishing numbers. Today is just another ordinary day. Yet, today can be a day that leads to extraordinary if we so choose. In my "spare" time, I get to speak to teens about their educational journeys. We talk about their perceptions of the way that the world works and how they can make their mark. All of these students are young black children who feel alienated in their own school environments. No one sees them for who they can potentially be. Instead, they are seen and judged based on how others view them now. They are children of poverty from difficult backgrounds. They have gaps in learning and even more in social skills. At the same token, if one were to actually invest in learning who these children were…they would see that they are amazingly brilliant perceptive thinkers…who just want a chance to be great. They want to be seen in a world that refuses to see them. As we talked about Dr. King’s legacy yesterday, I was reminded about the importance of kids seeing representations of themselves in multiple forms. These kids go to school and are taught by people who have zero grasp of their background. They go home, in some cases, to more chaos than imaginable. There is no outlet…no chance…no view beyond what IS. Their normal is not a celebration of Dr. King’s legacy. Their normal is the exact opposite of that. Today, I challenge you to take King’s legacy of love and understanding into your classrooms. Find ways to help each child, even the most difficult, find their paths to understanding and growth. You may not have the direct connection to a child’s background but by seeing them for who they can potentially be and believing in them enough to get there…you can make an impact on them in ways unforeseen. It was Dr. Rita Pierson who said that every kid needs a champion. Focus on the word, EVERY. They all deserve someone who will love them unconditionally. Love them enough to reach, support, challenge, praise and do all of those things even when they fight the process themselves and they will. Every child can be reached in some way, shape or form. Our goals must be to find the path to reach them even in spite of them. Only then can they be truly "seen" for who they are and can potentially be.    

I knew that I would one day visit SLA long before I knew what Educon was about. I sat in my office last year watching the Whitehouse Google Hangout in awe of those students and their passion for learning. SLA, for me, represented something that I have I’ve never witnessed… idea that an entire school could be truly transformational regardless of race, gender or economic background. I remember watching and thinking…. 1. I want to go to there. 2. I wanted my son to go there. 3. We need schools like this in TX I grabbed my principal and made him watch with me, I tweeted and connected with Diana Laufenberg who shared links to the projects that students published. Again, I grabbed my principal and made him look. I called my mother and made her watch! It’s normal for me to be this excited about cool technology but this was different. I was inspired and motivated by the opportunities to experiences and passion for learning that those students had. It was and is breathtakingly beautiful. When I heard about Educon and all that it entails, I was equally excited to partake in such meaningful conversation. I was excited to connect with so many more forward thinking educators that I’ve come to know through their writing. I have to admit that the reason that I proudly funded my own trip, heading through apparently 15 inches of snow…is because of the SLA experience. The actual Educon sessions are simply a nice bonus.

Yesterday, while walking the halls of SLA during their lunch period, it was refreshing to see kids in pretty much every space of the building…their space. Seeing kids have the free range to be themselves in every sense of the word was a reminder of how the rest of us manage to get this small piece all wrong. In my former high school, headphones on heads would have been taken up. Cell phones in the classroom would have been confiscated. Screens not in view of the teacher would have been frowned upon. Kids reading in a windowsill or sitting in an un-monitored corner would have never been approved. As I spoke to the amazing students and parents present at SLA, I asked the question…"Why SLA?" Every single one mentioned that SLA was a place that they felt they could be themselves. How many of our kids feel the opposite of that? School should be the place where kids begin to explore who they are in the world and what they can contribute. How can that happen when we typically spend the majority of the time telling kids who THEY are and who they should become? I know that SLA is its own entity and what works at SLA may not work in every space. However, we have to explore this idea of allowing kids to be themselves…to figure it out…to have choice. We have to explore the idea of kids taking ownership of their school spaces…their learning…themselves. One small change could make the greatest difference.  

Last night, while contemplating the end of life as I know it (karaoke), I realized something. I have never really taken a risk. As I flipped through the karaoke song book that literally scared me to death, I truly felt the definition of risk deep within the pit of my stomach. Prior to last night, I’ve never been afraid to do something and I know this because I’ve never truly feared anything more than getting on a stage to sing. Risk is something born from fear…of the unknown and of the outcome. There is a rhyme and reason to my beginning this post with this experience. Bear with me. Yesterday’s Educon sessions began with a conversation about the boundless classroom led by David Jakes and Scott Glass. It was a thought provoking discussion about exploring the learning shift with students where learning takes place anytime and anywhere. One of the questions posed to our group was, "What constitutes a meaningful learning experience" in which I immediately thought about the walls that we have ceremoniously established as a society in terms of learning. So many educators, especially secondary, still believe that their classroom space is the hub of learning yet students are learning constantly through the barrage of life experiences through which they are immersed. Traditional classrooms with constraints are still the norm and the idea of doing anything beyond that remains unvisited for many. I don’t believe that it has anything to do with a lack of wanting to change but more a fear of changing. The risk is far to great. My next session was a conversation about Standards and Standardization led by the amazingly brilliant Diana Laufenberg. I have to say that I left this session with only one complaint. It was entirely too short! As a group, we explored beyond the definitions of the words "standard" and "standardized"  and dug deeper into how teachers could teach standards authentically less standardization. This is an idea that many teachers and administrators struggle with in light of extensive testing requirements. I’ve heard time and again that authenticity takes time and resources that most teachers lack. As real as it is, it’s still an excuse born from fear. What if students fail? What if I fail? What if I leave something out? What if my evaluation is bad because students are failing? Certainly, authentic learning experiences for students are worth the risk, right? Both of these sessions reminded me greatly about the risks that we take and the ones in which fear takes over. What if students are learning more outside of the physical school container than inside? What if students spend more time developing questions about their learning and exploring those questions in lieu of the standard pre-written sets. What if you go on stage to sing Bell Biv Devoe’s "Poison"… badly out of tune in front of a small crowd of people that you admire? How does one proceed with getting beyond the fear to take the risk? Simple…you suck it up, take the leap and accept that for a short length of time, you’ll be extremely uncomfortable.  

Before Educon started, I believe that it was Jen Wagner who reminded me that SLA was not a place in which processes could be lifted from their school and automatically duplicated in another. She reminded me via tweets to choose some small piece that I liked and find a way to make it work in my own practice. Although I knew this, I was glad for this reminder from someone who had experienced Educon along with the community of individuals who have attempted to "take it all in", place it in their schools and fail miserably. That will not be me and it doesn’t have to be you either. Drinking the Koolaid We all attend events where we are so engulfed in the ideas presented that we get so pumped that we want to do EVERYTHING when we get home. That’s what "drinking the koolaid" is about which is why many that attend events like Educon experience the "downward spiral" upon returning home. You can’t do that. SLA is a unique experience that is specific to SLA. However, there are pieces of what SLA does that can certainly be done in any school that is open to it. (Student choice and PBL are great starts.) I have to believe that sharing "how students learn" at SLA is one of the reasons that its doors are open to the world for this event. That does not mean that every idea needs to be duplicated. I’ve had a blast soaking up the awesomeness that is SLA while at the same time thinking about some small change that I can borrow and reconfigure in my own environment.  One small shift in thinking can spark big change. It’s important that we understand that…one small change. Post-Conversational Change on Privilege My final conversation at SLA was the conversation about privilege as led by Audrey Watters and Jose Vilson. In hindsight, it seems only fitting that this was the conversation that ended my Educon experience. I sat there in that session quietly listening and thinking. It occurred to me how much I had not really dealt with in terms of race in privilege in my own life. We never talk about it and frankly, who can I talk about it with? In that room, it was refreshing and fulfilling to hear how others are affected whether that be race, gender, class or even from the standpoint of self-reflection. We all will experience both sides of privilege at some point in time in our lives. It’s what we do with or without our privilege that matters. There has to be some understanding on both sides. We needed to have this discussion and I’m glad that we did. It’s odd that as much as I tweet, I could not bring myself to leave the moments in that room to post. I wanted to listen without distraction. I found that interesting. I will say that finally getting out one of my experiences on the topic felt like lifting a weight from my shoulders. I also felt empowered to discuss it beyond the room but with several parties…specifically within the very white male dominated edtech world. We are represented by women and people of color as well. It’s time that we see more of that. It’s time that we feature more of that. What Now? After a few days of Educon, what I learned more than anything was that every voice matters and that includes students and parents. To be fair, I knew this but now I get it with a vengeance! After all, it was an SLA student who said, "we want to be viewed as intelligent opinionated human beings." In other words, if your intent is to fix things within your schools, include your students in the process. Their voices deserve a platform to be heard. When those voices are speaking, whether it be students, parents or the quiet teacher down the hall…consider their thoughts as viable ideas. I felt that I left Educon with a charge to speak louder, support more and help teachers give students more choice & voice. The koolaid is not quite gone yet but even when it is…big changes are yet to come.

Last week I received a call from one of my son’s teachers about his inability to sit and copy verbatim power point notes for 45 minutes straight. To add insult to injury, this teacher went on to describe how he gives his students a "notes quiz" to prove that they wrote down every word which also gives kids a free 100 as a grade. I listened to him, a friend of mine no less, with these thoughts racing in my head… Who on earth gives kids, especially HS freshman, 45 minutes of verbatim notes via ppt? My son has to come out of this class! Wait, I have to teach my son to conform even when he does not agree. Oh my gosh, I am your friend but your teaching practices suck!!! To be clear, this is a geography class and the class is comprised of half a period of notes and half a period of proving that you took notes. Kids sit in their assigned seats in rows the entire period and are not allowed to have any discussion or debate. The information comes from the teacher and textbook. Kids do not have access to any hand held technology other than their own devices which they are not allowed to use. Based on the rest of the conversation, pretty much every kid is completely disengaged. The curriculum is standard across the board and every class is completely standardized. (Yeah, that educon conversation about standard vs standardization came at the right moment!) This teacher did not get it and believed that what he was doing was great. He’s teaching the way that he was taught, which is traditionally what takes place in schools. Sometimes in the "edu-twitter" world, we forget that there are entire schools built upon this very model. Before I share where the conversation went, I need to share that this is also a coach with no planning period. Unlike other teachers, there is no time to plan lessons during the school day. He is either coaching or teaching all day and as much as there is a discrepancy in schools, especially Texas where football rules all, teachers need time to plan and collaborate…coaches too. The Edu-Parent/Friend of Teacher Response After letting this teacher get his complaint about my kid out, I told him three things… You cannot expect anyone to sit in an uncomfortable desk for 45-50 minutes to write paragraphs of information from ppt. With that said, I cannot be your friend if your teaching continues to suck the way that it does. Let me help you…please. After his shock passed, we had a nice conversation about how geography should be a fully interactive class. This is the class where kids get to explore the world. They cannot explore it through ppt notes of information that they can actually discover for themselves. They needed to be engaged in way that encouraged thoughtful discussion, debate, collaboration, research and critical thinking. Kids could care less about what you tell them but will care deeply about what matters to them. He heard me. He wants to change things and we are working, outside of school hours, on changing the face of his class. His only question…. What if this new way fails? My response… Count on it failing in some way but count on the successes that you stand to gain. Like sports, there is a risk of failure but that doesn’t keep you from trying. Your classroom is no different. Your students are more than worth the effort. (FYI…I did deal with my son because whether we like it or not, we don’t always get to choose the cards that we are dealt. You have to learn to deal and do what is needed to get what you want and need in life. He needed to learn that too. What he did in purposefully ignoring antiquated directives, was still disrespectful. As much as I agree that the teaching in this class was bad, I will ALWAYS hold my children responsible for their actions.) Also, we did not discuss technology because before you put tech into the equation, you have to fix the bad practices because I think that we all can agree that technology in the hands of a teacher with bad practices does nothing but enhance the bad practices. We’ll get there…eventually. Edited to add: This story was shared with the full consent of the teacher involved as this is more about his openness to change and less about my decision to speak up about what needed to change.

Last night, I spent time in yet another conversation on privilege and race. This time, it was with math teachers in a session of the Global Math Dept. At some point in time during this conversation, I saw that teachers were inquiring more about reaching their students of color which we didn’t really get to discuss. I make no assumption that being a teacher of color makes me some automatic expert on the topic, but coming from an environment where "being the only one like me" in the room is the norm, I felt compelled to share from the experiences of a few of my students. It was interesting how much their views of race and privilege differed yet were aligned in so many ways. Some Background Where we live, our town is predominantly white yet the school is predominantly hispanic. (I don’t think that most teachers realize this yet even though it is blatantly apparent in classroom student ratios.) Black students make up a very small percentage and that is also consistent in town. Every year, thousands from every race come together to celebrate (white) "Czech" heritage for our National Polka festival yet less than a hundred show up for any other cultural celebrations. At the high school level, I was the only teacher of color in a core class. The others taught spanish or coached. Unless these students were athletes or took spanish, they would not see another teacher like them. The Black Student Athlete Perspective "Teachers only talked to me about football & the fame. They didn’t seem to care about the school work. I felt passed." Black male students who are athletic had an advantage over those that were not. To this student, he added value to the school by being a "star athlete" and he got away with a great deal more. He learned the formula quick in that giving minimal effort was all that he needed to stay on the field. (no pass no play) Where white athletes were somewhat expected to excel in the classroom, teachers were surprised when black athletes did the same. There were zero expectations when it came to academic growth. His "privilege" in earning a free pass from athletics was also his disadvantage in terms of learning. He expressed that he did not believe that academic success was within his reach. He felt that his worth was wrapped in football as that was all that he really knew how to do. Football was all that he was expected to do. From his perspective, that was not the case for white athletes as they were expected to excel in class and were treated as such. He went on to add that teachers talked to other students about who they were off the field but conversations with him always centered around football and the fame. I found that interesting. The Headstrong Latina and White Cheerleader Privilege "My teachers were amazing but principals seemed to target me for dress code as if I was the only one out. I wasn’t." I will admit to struggling with this subtopic because saying it sounds divisive but the reality is that in our school and even now…white cheerleaders had privilege. My student immediately thought of standardized dress. While she did own up to wearing her pants slightly tighter, it bothered her that she could walk into school alongside a heavily out of dress code white cheerleader and she would be the one pulled aside to change. It never failed. Her being "out of dress code" caused problems in that she became known for it and teachers watched for it. Yet, the white cheerleaders walked around in yoga pants and t-shirts and were ignored. The more that we talked, the more that we pin pointed moments of this same behavior with white students in general and hispanic students. There were moments when students walked the halls, white students out of dress code were bypassed while it seemed that hispanic students were targeted. For her, she distinctly remembered "the white cheerleader" as it became her frame of reference throughout school. Responding to Privilege & Perspective Neither of these students ever had a platform to talk about these issues nor did they feel that they could outside of their own circles. They were uncomfortable, even as adults now…uncomfortable. I connected with that as prior to my weekend at Educon, I felt the same. Students carry unique perspectives about their experiences and until these issues, along with the countless others unaddressed in this posting, are met head on through discussion and action, these tensions and perspectives will never change. It’s amazing how much students pick up on and carry with them through life because of the adults that got it wrong along the way.

Small changes can definitely make the difference in terms of supporting learners in any classroom. If you’re looking for a way to spice up that traditional classroom setting, here are some tidbits from my classroom to yours! These are my "5 Be’s"… 1. Be Creative Just because the district provides a guide doesn’t mean that the "recipe" can’t be modified or changed. Being creative is about seeing beyond the black and white of your content and making it adaptable for diverse learners. What can you do differently to get class started? How can you take a worksheet of problems and turn it into an experience? How can you encourage students to dig deeper, communicate, collaborate, think critically and create? How do you translate your love of your students and content into their love of learning? 2. Be Flexible It annoys me to no end to hear teachers talk about laying the gauntlet on due dates and call it "real world". My response to that is, have you ever negotiated with the electric company to pay a bill late? Maybe you haven’t but people do it often. I’m not saying to give kids until the end of time to turn in an assignment but my gosh, leave room for discussion for when things happen or when the kids gets entirely too stressed out to get everything done! Life is like that sometimes! Your flexibility can be the difference for a kid at a moment when they desperately need it. Also, please stop "designating" applications for everything…especially middle to high school kids. If you focus on the outcome, you get to allow multiple pathways for kids to present what they have learned. That, my friends, is called CHOICE! 3. Be Passionate Everything that I do is with a sense of focus so passionately intent on the goal that it’s contagious. I LOVED every lesson…even when I really didn’t. In math, it was easy to convey this because math, to me, is like a puzzle waiting to be solved. The thought of this gives me shivers of excitement! In my tech job, I get to share cool stuff that sparks wonder in kids!! The thought of that makes my eyes light up with excitement! Let’s be real, it’s rare for a kid to beat down the algebra door to get it, but my room seemed to always full of kids that had to be forced out. The trick…be passionate about your KIDS first. Adore them until they feel it deep within. Care enough about them to demand the best from them even when they don’t want to. Care enough to refer back to "flexibility" and take the time needed..WHEN NEEDED…to address them in a way in which they hear and feel you. I’ve been known to say this… "I will fight for you even if that means fighting YOU for YOU. Passion is not something that you can fake. However, when kids feel it, your classroom will be the one where kids WANT to be…regardless of what you teach. 4. Be Resourceful This one is huge. Please know your content enough to understand how and where to redirect questioning when needed. It’s not about you understanding every single aspect but you must know more than enough to properly support your students. NEVER tell a kid…"go figure it out!" Guess what, if they knew how to do it, they would NOT have asked you. What you must be able to do is help students redirect their path. Be able to help them secure a learning plan and effectively use great questioning skills to get them there. Remember, it’s not about YOU being the single force of information. It’s about empowering students to research, process and problem solve. 5. Be Reflective I know that I’ve said this many times but reflection has truly changed my practice. I always consider the good as well as the not so good and make purposeful plans to improve. That is how I learn. Reflection is also important for students. If one of our goals is to empower them to take ownership of their learning, we must encourage reflection. Let me be clear, I’m not talking about "reflecting as a grade". This is really about individual development and growth…teacher AND student. Focus on the growth…not the grade.  

From a Student…"I hated when I had ideas that needed to be validated by someone else before they were valued" When I heard this statement, all that I could say was…Oh My Gosh!!! I knew exactly what this young lady felt because I have experienced this very feeling so much in my own practice. For the most part, I know how to deal in situations where my ideas have no value. Years of "dealing" have taught me that…but this was not about me. This was her…her experience as a student. She went on to explain further how it happens. A question is posed. She waits and responds. Her teacher, barely acknowledging her, asks for more responses. Another student responds with pretty much the exact same thing that she said. The teacher then praises the other student…never acknowledging that the idea was given 5 minutes prior. To be clear, when a teacher either purposefully or inadvertently devalues a student in this way, it completely diminishes any resemblances of a relationship. You’re lost that student…that quick.  Situations such as this are ones that kids should not have to deal with in school yet they do. In this student’s mind…"it’s because I’m black" ran through her head immediately. It was never addressed. No one cared. To this day, she has no idea why this practice seemed to occur day after day. What she remembers is dreading that class and limiting the ideas that she shared. (Hello micro-agression!) Devaluing this student resulted in her shutting down and shutting out the happenings of this classroom…and her opportunity to learn. I cannot even begin to express how much this situation spoke to so many of my own. Listening to her made me check my own responses and I needed to do that. There is no "cookie cutter" simple  answer in this situation other than refusing to remain silent. Had we talked about this back then, we could have addressed it and in the process she would have surely been empowered to react accordingly. She also would not have carried the weight of these moments on her shoulders for the years that she did. Perception is Everything The teacher in this situation could have been acting completely innocently but considering the number of times that it happened, it doesn’t appear that way. How then does a student proceed in an environment where they KNOW that there is a perception that their thoughts are meaningless? How do they continue to add their ideas to the conversation? Who "checks" the teacher when a pattern of devaluing becomes obvious? What would you do? How would you handle it? Think of your own classrooms. Do all of your students feel that what they say matters? Do they feel valued? Reflection is encouraged.

I cringe every time that I see small children sitting in their straight "school approved" rows sitting silently. When they speak, they are told "shhh" or some even get accustomed to placing their finger over their mouth which serves to remind them to remain silent. At the slightest of noise, the parent is informed… "Your child is great but they are being far too social." Kids raise their hands for approval to ask questions. Sometimes, when the question isn’t warranted, they’re even reprimanded for asking. My favorite one…"When will we ever use this?" (Truthfully, they SHOULD ask this question) Born to Comply Sometimes I feel that "learning" is more about compliance than process. "Sit in your seat in your row. Get out your black/blue pen and write on uniformed paper with wide lines. You may go to the restroom when I say that you can. You may not speak to your neighbor. You may not get up from your desk. You have two rights…to remain silent and do as I say." Are we teaching stalks of corn or children? Dear Teachers AND Administrators, classroom management is not about having the most uniformed and silent class. It is about creating a structure in which learning is embraced, encouraged and empowered. It is about having processes in place that allow kids to be explorers and architects of their knowledge. Sometimes, that is chaotic but a great classroom manager understands how to "manage" this process…NOT control it like a prison guard. (End of PSA) Question Everything! We have to encourage kids to speak more. Why can’t they ask questions? Why do they have to be completely silent? Why can’t they engage in more conversation…even if it goes off topic? This is called REAL LIFE. This is not something that you start at the middle to high school level. This needs to start as early as pre-k because by the time those kids get to the secondary part of their education, we (the highly informed progressive teachers) are spending a great deal of time trying to undo what has been programmed and get kids to think, speak and reflect. (We should anyway…)   If you teach HS math, you understand the above statement. I kid you not…kids literally WAIT on each step of the process and are highly upset when they see that you are not "THAT" teacher because somewhere their "programming" has convinced them that regurgitating steps is the ONLY way to "learn" math. The reality is that kids are accustomed to what transpires and when we train them like robots, what else can they possibly be but more robots. It was absolutely refreshing to hear students speak up at SLA last week during Educon. At some point during the lives of these students, someone gave them permission to speak up and they do it oh so well. If we want our students to be able to convey their ideas as well as emotions…we have GOT to empower them to think freely…to talk freely…to question freely. Better yet…question EVERYTHING. When they question…empower them to seek out answers and share…even publish. Imagine that.

Preface: I’ve gone back and forth with myself on whether or not to publish this piece. I’ve never been a person who focuses on race. As a matter of fact, I was raised to be oblivious to it in a community where the color of your skin was blatantly obvious. I’ve always excelled in whatever I tried to do because my mother truly empowered me to own who I was and own the room in the process. However, this is my blog and my place of growth. Since Educon, I’ve had these emotions brewing inside that represent a culmination of all the things that "we" never talk about. It’s 3am. I can’t sleep because all that I can think about is this piece.  Growing up, I was accustomed to being the only black face in the room. I was in band, not athletics, after all. I was in "honors" classes, not regular. I grew up on a mixed middle class street, not across the tracks. I was "articulate", as my first grade teacher said. (My mother handled that.) I could make friends with any one…any race…at any time. It was almost as if it were a gift (privilege) that I could travel between the self-segregation of lunch tables and not miss a beat. Not everyone could do that and it came at a price. I was called "oreo". It was even commented to me that my white friends were somehow "blacker" than I was. When they spoke about other black students, they would immediately come back and say…"Oh, well you’re not really black." Yes, this happened. That was high school and as hurtful as that was it was even more hurtful to hear my black students speak the same sentiments. To them, my education made me "less black" as that is what they said. To add insult to injury, the intonation of my voice somehow sounded "less black" too. Wait…what? I didn’t choose my voice. I didn’t sit in a room and practice how to "blend" with the rest of the room. I am who I am. I sound as I sound. As I write this, I think that the bigger issue is that my students somehow felt that being educated meant being "white". (I will be revisiting this in a later post.) Anyone that says that they "don’t see color" is lying. If you say that…stop saying it. You do. Try placing one color of skittles in a bowl. Now place one skittle of a different color in the same bowl. Shake them up and I dare you NOT to see the difference first. That doesn’t make you racist. It makes you aware and that is okay. On the other hand, put yourself in the position of "the different skittle". You are also fully aware that when people see you, they see that you are different first before really "seeing you". That is what it is like as the only person of color in the room. As confident as I am in my own skin, for me…it’s still an alienating feeling. Don’t get me wrong. I KNOW that I am brilliantly creative and can command a room when needed but I am also human and that part of me is sometimes uncomfortable as the only person of color in a room. Yet, I also feel empowered to not fall silent because I understand that I have ideas that are of value and need to be heard. A long time ago, a piece was written by a friend, questioning if social media had done anything to erase the racism that we are so accustomed to. If it has done anything, it has made people a bit more open to the ideas of others in a small way. Before twitter, I would sit as the only person of color in a room and wait on the right moment to speak if at all. With twitter, my voice has a reach that exceeds that room, therefore, giving me a pass into many conversations as @rafranzdavis that my "non-twittter" former self did not have. I understand that my connected voice has opened doors within the edtech community that would not have been quite so "easy" to open without my connectedness. However, even after typing the word, "easy", I know that this road…the one so dominated by white men…has been anything but easy. In most cases, I’m still the only person of color in the room and depending on the event, there may be 2-3 others…which really speaks to a greater problem at the school level in terms of racial diversity than that of the event itself. Sitting at the table with Xian Barrett, Sabrina Stevens, Melinda Anderson and José Vilson at Educon was eye-opening for me in many ways. Talking to them was like lifting a ton of bricks from my shoulders that had been packed with layers of cement for years. I refuse to be silent on this topic anymore. I am tired of being the only person of color in the room.  As I’ve sat at an event, I’ve often scoped the room for more diverse faces and wondered… Where are we? Why are we not here? Why are schools still struggling with employing diverse voices? Why are schools not sending these teachers to these events like TCEA and even ISTE. Why are we not submitting proposals to speak? Why are we not engaged within the "circle" that forms the edtech community? Why are we not seen as viable voices when it comes to selecting featured speakers? Why is it still exciting to see a person of color featured? (It is still rare.) Why is this community so oblivious yet comfortable with the lack of color in the room? There has to be a way to change this… I welcome your thoughts.             .